Father forgets

I still stumble across this rather touching poem “Father Forgets” by W. Livingston Larned whenever I  read the book ” How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. it’s something one should sit down and think about from time to time, if one has kids of his own…

Here’s the full poem “Father Forgets “

Listen, son; I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a twoel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, “Goodbye, Daddy!” and I frowned, and said in reply, “Hold your shoulders back!”

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road, I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before you boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive – and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, form a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. “What is it you want?” I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding – this was my reward to your for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: “He is nothing buy a boy – a little boy!”

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

Live and let live

Suppose an average human life in today’s world is not more than 60 years. If you analyse the break-up of activities associated with these 60 years of your life, you can see that it more or less matches with the following:

12 Years in Working

22 Years in Sleeping

04 Years in Routine Travelling

05 Years in Eating

03 Years in Bathing, Dressing etc…

06 Years in Useless Chatting, social media

04 Years in Sickness & Illness, may be more

Balance ? Only 4 Years

My only question to one and all is, why should we think, involve in activities that result in sufferings, terror, hatred, fighting, killings etc… in the short span of 4 years left . It needs to be utilized in a better way by doing all good things, helping others and thanking God for the opportunity given to us in being a human being…

Live and Let Live.

Mind World

The impression that is made upon our mind has quite a different character from the impression that is made upon objects. Whatever impression our mind takes it not only holds as a stone holds an impression, but it produces the same several times in a moment, thus keeping it a living impression. And it is that life of the impression which is held in the mind, that becomes audible to the ears of the heart. It is in this way that we all, more or less, feel the thought or the feeling of another, his pleasure or displeasure, his joy or disappointment, for it is continually repeated in his mind. We are listeners of our mind and we hear it’s voice quite frequently.

The impression in the mind does not stand still like a picture. The phenomenon of memory is such that one creates all that the memory holds, not only the vibrations that the memory holds, but the vibrations or forms in answer to it. For instance, a person has a deep impression of fear in his mind. The consequence is that the mind is at work to produce an object of its fear. In the dream, in imagination, in a wakeful state that fear is created. One can easily understand that it is created in the dream, but how in the wakeful state? Everything that is around a person, his friends, his foes, conditions, environment, all take a form which will frighten the mind that is holding fear in it. How wonderful then the plane of mind is ?

So the miseries are attracted especially by those who fear miseries; disappointment is brought about by those who expect a disappointment; failure is caused by holding the impression of a failure. Often people say, “I shall never succeed, I shall never succeed. Everything I do goes wrong, there is something wrong.” Have you heard the saying ” the best way to abstain from sin is to wipe out when that thought crosses the mind “. Otherwise the impression will remain and will induce us to commit the sin.

When a person is continually thinking, “Nothing will happen right, nothing good will come”, failure is anticipated; even if he as everything around him to achieve success he would still meet with failure. In this way we become the creator of our condition, of our fate. Many there are who see no prospects before them in life.

Bend it like Bekham

No I’m not going to talk about world`s famous football player BEKHAM. There are people in India who can bend better than Bekham. In India you will see people standing upon their heads, walking upon their hands, standing on one foot for hours. A person may say, “What a crazy practice! Of what use can this be? They must be mad.” No, they have seen the madness of the whole world, and they try another madness. They remain in the same posture for hours and hours. If one of them folds his arms, he remains for hours with his arms folded. If he holds up his hand, he remains holding up his hand for hours. If he closes his eyes, he remains with his eyes closed for hours. If he does not speak, he does not speak for days and days.

Shame that we cannot cease our mind even for five minutes while we meditate

How they do it then ??

When a person has been alone for some time, he begins to move. He moves his foot or his hand, or he drums on the table. He wants to feel that he is alive, and the consciousness realizes that it is alive by its activity, the activity of the body and of the mind. When the activity of the body is made to cease and the activity of the mind is stopped, then the consciousness has a chance of realizing that it is alive without the life of the body and of the mind. When the body is brought under control, and when the mind is controlled so that we can keep it on one thought as long as we like and make it blank as long as we like, then the soul, which is imprisoned in the body, is set free; it is not bound to mind and body. The whole world is open for it.

Magnetism

I thought of sharing a note about what I have observed & experienced among men & women. You will be amazed to know how the magnetism works among human. The subject of magnetism as interesting as it is from a scientific point of view, so interesting, or still more interesting, it is from a mystical point of view. For in the first place a magnet and something which is attracted to the magnet have a relation. The magnet represents the essence, a part of which that object which is attracted holds. Very often one does not find the trace of that essence in the object that the magnet attracts. But at the same time the essence is there, and that is the logical reason why it is attracted, because its blood relationship is an influence of that recognized by them.
 
In the East this blood relationship was always signified by the magnetism which exists between two persons who have the same blood. And a deeper study of this fact will certainly prove that there is an unknown attraction between two people having a blood relationship between them. An incident that occurred lately was an experience of it. A person from Stockholm was visiting London, where he thought he had no relations, or that if there were any relations, they were perhaps a century ago. And while walking in a part of London he met someone who called him by his name. When he turned back, this person excused himself saying, “I am sorry, I have made a mistake.” But this man asked, “How did you know my name? The name you said is mine.” And when they spoke together they found that they were cousins, but cousins only if they studied genealogy. We do not give much attention to this subject. But the more we give attention to it, the more proof we can find of this element which is drawn to its similar element. Element attracts element, as a dove is attracted to a dove, an eagle is attracted to an eagle.” But do we not find the same thing in life every day? A gambler when he goes to another country, by the help of Providence – one does not know how – attracts another gambler very soon.
 
A person who does not know what “thief” means, perhaps does not know of a thief; but a person who is a thief, it will not take him any time to find another thief in a country where he arrives. It is not only that when two persons of the similar element see one another they are attracted to one another, but even conditions, life itself brings about their meeting, life itself draws them together. And therefore it is natural that a person who is very sad, naturally attracts a miserable one to join together with him; the one with joy, with happiness, naturally attracts happiness. And in this way magnetism is working through the whole creation; and in all aspects you will see the phenomena of magnetism, in the physical world as well as in the mental spheres.
 
No doubt one cannot always say that it is an element which attracts the same element; but also the element attracts what it is lacking, what is opposite to it. And when we think of friendship, we see that with some we feel inclined to be friends and others we feel inclined to keep away from. And the most interesting part is that those whom we feel disinclined to be friends with, they have also some who are drawn towards them in friendship.

My faith vs your faith

Once some blind men were very anxious to see an elephant. So a kind man one day took them to see one. There, standing by its side, he said, “Now, here is the elephant, see what you can make of it.” Each one tried to make out by touch what the elephant looked like, and afterwards when they met together they began to discuss its appearance. One said, “It looks like the big pillar of a palace,” another said, “It looks like a fan.” And so they differed and discussed amongst one another, then they quarreled so much as to come to a hand-to-hand fight. Each one said, “I have seen it, I know what it is; I have touched it.” Then the man who took them to the elephant came and said, “You all are right, but you have each seen only a part of the elephant.”

So it is with the religions. A person says, “This religion is the one, this doctrine is the only one, this truth is the only truth possible.” That shows a lack of knowledge of the ultimate truth. As soon as one comes to the realization of the depth of truth, one begins to discern that it is the same truth which the great ones have tried to express in words. They could not put it fully into words. They have done their best to help humanity to evolve and reach to a point at which it is able to understand what can never be explained in words.


Somebody can be praised by one and hated by another, and ten people may all have a different idea of the same person, because each understands him according to his state of evolution. Each sees that person according to his own point of view, each looks at him through his own eyes, and therefore the same person is different to each being. In the mind of one the person is a sinner, in the mind of another he is a saint. The same person who is considered gentle and good by one is considered the opposite by another. If this can be so in connection with a living being, it is equally possible that various ideas of the deity should be formed in each heart, and that each soul should mold his own deity according to his own evolution and according to his way of idealizing and understanding. Therefore the deity of every heart is different and is as that person has imagined; but the God of every soul is ONE and the same, whatever people imagine. It is the same GOD that they all imagine, but their imaginations are different and it is the lack of understanding of this that has caused the differences in religion.

Belief and Disbelief

A Businessman who lost everything in a fire placed a Sign Board: “Everything burnt but luckily faith & confidence undamaged. Business starts tomorrow”

Belief is natural and disbelief is unnatural, for belief is born in man and unbelief is acquired. If the child had been born with unbelief, he would not even have learned the language of the mother. If she had said, “This is water,” the child would have answered, “No, this is bread.” Every child born on earth is born with a tendency to believe what is taught, but experience in this world full of falsehood teaches man to disbelieve. Every soul comes from the world of truth, and opens his eyes in the world of falsehood. Every child comes into the world with that purity of heart whose natural tendency is to believe, and later he acquires the tendency to doubt.

The right explanation of unbelief would be that everything that is strange to man he explains by reason and by knowledge already acquired, and when something does not tally with what he already knows, he disbelieves. Doubt is earth-born, and belief is heaven-born. Light is caused by the sun, and shade is caused by the earth. The light of the soul, therefore, is belief; the mind gives unbelief. In belief a hidden power exists, and that power is called self-confidence. The person who trusts another does not always trust by the power and influence of another person, but by his own power and confidence.

You have choices . Either to believe what I have written above or to disbelieve straightaway.

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover

Nature is born, character is built, and personality is developed. If nature is such, then it is not easy to change a person’s nature. Neither can a dog be made into a horse nor can a cat be made into a cow. Sadi says, ‘The kitten in the end proves to be a kitten. Even if it were kept on the queen’s sofa, petted and kissed and loved and cared for, when the mouse came it would show that it was a cat. If we say that horns can be turned into hooves and that hooves can be turned into horns it may be believed, but if we say that a person has changed his nature it will be doubted.

The nature of a person is not the same as his false ego, but the false ego is obsessed by his nature. Everyone has brought with him on earth a certain nature, and it is not always easy to get rid of it. A lion may be trained by his keeper and may work under a certain discipline for twenty years But one day his predisposition may be awakened and he will turn on his keeper, thus showing his nature that had been hidden; it will show that he is a lion. With all the training he has received and all the humility and surrender he has displayed, he is still a lion.

When those who are peaceful and calm think that another person who is active and enthusiastic should also be calm and peaceful like them, when those who are thoughtful and considerate think that another person who is impulsive and adventurous should be like them, when those who have patience and endurance think that another person who is quickly aroused and temperamental should be like them – it is all impossible. The modest cannot be bold nor can the bold be modest. Every soul has its nature, and if one tries to bury it, although it will remain covered for some time, it only needs digging. Anyone can dig and find what is beneath. There may be a good nature hidden, and there may be a bad nature hidden, though for the moment one does not see it. A soul may seem to be a saint until one has spoken with him. Another soul may seem to be quite the contrary until one has investigated him, and then he may prove to be totally different.

Our likes and dislikes

Think for a moment. Whatever is continuous disappears from our perception, whereas anything that is momentarily tangible becomes visible to us. This is shown when we start a journey on a train or boat. At first the noise of the engines is almost unbearable, but as we go on we get accustomed to it, so that after couple of hours we find that we do not notice the noise any more, while at the same time we can hear the least whisper of a friend speaking to us. The continuous noise is now no longer audible unless we stop, to pay attention to it. 

It is just like this with the whole mechanism of the universe. It is audible all the time; it is visible both externally and inwardly – but we are so concerned with our own activities, with the things we ourselves are interested in, that our consciousness can only retain these and pays no attention to all the other things, loud as they are.

 What one dislikes in line, form, color, smell, taste, or sound, or in sense or idea, is not disliked because it deserves to be so, but because it is foreign to one’s nature. Once a person becomes accustomed to anything he develops love for it in himself. Therefore, often some people have a liking for certain things which many others dislike, or a dislike of certain things which many others like. Often when traveling in the train a person feels more comfortable if no one else comes into his compartment, but once someone has come and sat there, if they have spoken together and become acquainted, then they wish to travel together.

All things have their beauty, and so has every person his goodness, and one’s dislike of a person very often comes from lack of knowing that person or from lack of familiarity with him. What makes one dislike things and despise men is a certain barrier, which very often the one who dislikes does not know and also the one who is disliked does not know.

By a keen observation of life one gets to that barrier and understands what it is that makes him disliked or makes him dislike others. All fear, doubt, suspicion, misunderstanding, bitterness and spite become cleared as soon as one touches that barrier which keeps souls apart. It is true that one need not force one’s nature. It is not necessary to dislike what one likes or to take a liking to something that by nature one dislikes. Only one must know why one likes if one likes a certain thing, and the reason why one dislikes if one takes a dislike to a certain thing. 

After observation one will come to understand. “All I like in the world is what I have always liked, and all I dislike is what I have always disliked in life.” It can be said in other words, “What I know to be loveable I have always loved and all that I don’t know I cannot love at once.” This shows that ignorance becomes a cover over all that is beautiful and ugly, and knowledge uncovers it. Liking comes from knowledge and dislike from ignorance and vice versa